I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing.

Surveying Teenagers
Had dinner with VS today – was supposed to meet the ex-colleagues but Lisa couldn’t make it – and we sat at the Raffles Place courtyard thing deciding where to go. So for some strange reason, V generally feels sorry for the people who stand around and give out fliers or conduct surveys. And today, at the Raffles Place thingey – there were a couple of barely-teenagers conducting some shopping survey.

When we walked by the first time, I turned one of the girls down. V called me a “bad person” for not giving her the time of the day. I replied that it was better for her to find out we’re all assholes anyway while she was young, instead of being disappointed later in life. He insisted it was a mean thing to do.

So when a different girl walks over the second time, he gamely entertained the surveyor.

She goes through some routine questions. Which is your favourite shopping center? How often do you visit Orchard Road? What is the main attraction at Orchard Road? Are you single or married? To all these – she read him multiple-choiced answers. When it came to age, she assumed out loud – over 30?

At which, my friend cooly replied, “No, under 25″. I tried not to break a vessel laughing. The girl counters, “You got so young meh?”.

Well, if this is under 25…

Survivor update
Richard Hatch got voted out today. I was so disappointed. He is so entertaining! And it’s still early in the game. I mean, it’s probably all in the editing, but this is what I don’t get -

So ok, today Rupert led his brow-beaten team to build an pretty darn un-aerodymanic raft, losing the reward challenge, and as a result had his tribe disbanded and merged into the other two tribes. Richard’s team (Mogo Mogo) chooses Ethan and Jerri to join their tribe. Colby pretty much decided this, and his rationale was that this way, he’d have control over when they lose Ethan. They chose Jerri because she seemed like the one he bonded least with. Who knew Colby had half a brain?

Anyway. So Mogo Mogo lose the immunity challenge and need to vote someone off. Colby goes to Ethan and proposes they vote Richard Hatch out. Why? He’s a “snake in the grass” and a “cancer”. So basically, they’re sure they won’t be able to outwit Richard later on, and need to do it while they’ve some power in manipulating the masses. Ethan is like “whatever takes the heat off me” so he goes along with it. And Lex is into it as well. They approach Jerri, who agrees in their faces, but then realises she might go further turning the chicks against Colby since she and Colby didn’t quite get along way back in Africa. She rustles Shi Ann and Kathy who were surprised that (a) they’re voting Richard Hatch and (b) Colby assumed a position of leadership and is calling the shots. So Jerri tries to get the chicks into voting Colby and lets Richard in on the deal. Richard is annoyed at Colby’s insolence, so he’s ready to write Colby’s name on the parchment and he’s confident that it’s Colby’s ass on the line.

Tribal council was funny, only because Richard Hatch was a constant source of entertainment. He’s obviously bright and funny, but I suppose a bit too confident. He was certainly surprised when he got voted out, but he took it like he lost a game of scrabble and didn’t get all upset and whiney. He did shout “I’ve been bamboozled!” whatever that means and gave Colby a good hard tap on the back when he was walking out. Then he sauntered off into the night.

And that was the end of my favourite Survivor this season. I hope they bring the Outcasts back.

First Cut is the deepest – not!
So this is the second First Cuts I’m missing. I mean, the stories all sound great, and the trailers always make me want to watch it – but 15 minutes is all I can bear.

Last week (Sweet Dreams and Turtle Soup) it was the awkward script and acting.

This week (Love Poetry) it’s the complete and utter lack of realism. I like it when art imitates life. These scripts read like they’re written by people bored with life and just want to escape into some surreal universe. Well, keep a blog, or a journal, or leave it in a book! On TV, not only do we have to put up with strange Asian / Singaporean looking faces spewing strange un-Singaporean dialogue in a foreign un-Singaporean twang in a setting and surrounding that is totally Singaporean, and forgive the chopping switches of points of view, we’re subjected to someone’s fantasy that isn’t even entertaining.

I know I’m going to offend my friends who are scriptwriters (and the one who works with me in the office is truly a scary being when annoyed) but you guys write better than this, and even though VR-Man and all isn’t Scrubs or Malcolm in the Middle or The West Wing calibre, it sure beat all these wannabes! At least I sat through Triple Nine, and until the last season I used to watch it religiously. And it wasn’t just because of James Lye!

This isn’t to say we’ve no local talent. I loved 12 Storeys and even Forever Fever. (Ok, to admit I liked the Jack Neo movies would be pushing it.) But these 2 instalments of First Cuts is sad! I’m not sure if I can bring myself to watch another one.

Scenes from Raffles Place

I like these sky shots. Makes me feel so small.

This was what we were looking at, when the almost-teenage surveyor approached us.

The same place, after dinner.