I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing.

This is going to be tricky – I’ve just one thought in my head – and I’m trying to upload another bunch of old pics onto Flickr. Ahhh… times gone by. Good times, though. I’m a happy camper.

Ever the telly-loser, I’m watching A Light Affair right now and I have to admit, this is tottering along the edges of my threshold for uncomfortable nails-on-a-chalkboard moments. It’s way worse than Curb Your Enthusiasm. Really. And the competition at the end is just the biggest anti-climax, ever.

But this is the interesting bit – do foreign men have an edge over their Singaporean counterparts?

I’d fear an angwee mob waiting for me if I answer that, but then again, my buddies who read this blog are happily adjusted, mature, dignified men. Hee.

Lemme just put it this way: my Singaporean born and bred male university classmates were probably shortchanged when they handed out sparks in the personality department. And this was fine and dandy, the norm.

Until I got a job in an MNC – and then I realised that the guys on tv with personality did actually exist! WAHHH!!!

Anyway, here are a few handy tips for a lost Singaporean boy:

1. Get a sense of humour. Not the Stephen Chow toilet humour kind, please. Think The Office, The Tick, Arrested Development, Scrubs – ok. If that’s too hard, start with Friends, but don’t dwell on it.
2. In fact, watch The Tick, Arrested Development, Scrubs and Friends. And for live examples of what to do or not do to impress a chick, watch The Bachelorette. Give A Light Affair a miss.
3. The world does not revolve around NS. No one really wants to hear any more about your bunk mate, or RT, or what unit you were from or posted to, or whether you saw a hantu while training.
4. The world also does not revolve around you. Don’t presume to be smarter or more sophisticated than some chick you’re going after, and don’t load up on the wine and cheese and expensive car and house trivia. Don’t insist on winning a conversation just to be right.

   Instead, be attentive, and listen in on someone else’s opinion for a change. Just cos it’s a woman doesn’t mean she doesn’t have an opinion. And if you wanted company without an opinion, you should get a chia pet.

5. Be interested in the world outside cars, football, golf and yourself. Read something other than Tom Clancy, John Grisham or Dan Brown. I’d recommend for Roddy Doyle, Salman Rushdie and my all time favourite Neil Gaiman.

I consider that my contribution to nation building.

Live long and prosper.