Long days
02/12/2006
I’m so tired. It’s been a really tough, trying year and even as it draws to a close I don’t feel like it’s getting any easier.
It’s getting to a point where nothing really works like it should anymore. Most of the time things are out of my control, and in the middle lies the one impervious truth of life: you’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.
I guess just like lopping 8 inches of hair off, at some point you just need to shed the deadweight in your life. As a kid I used to be petrified at change. Even though I hated primary school I dreaded moving onto secondary school even more, mostly because of the largely unfamiliar territory and language. And the whole making-friends routine.
It didn’t get easier as I got older as much as it got more rewarding. Moving onto JC was a light affair – having boys in the school really helped. And since I didn’t really do anything much in JC, heading to college was relatively easy. No drastic changes there.
My first two jobs were really easy to leave. I hated the first one the most and the second was a close second. Nothing against the people I worked with, and I learnt invaluable lessons in each. But I was ill-suited for the first one and I was discontent in the second.
But nonetheless change came about quite easily.
One of the most important things I think everyone should know – besides the overused management mantra about the only true constant in life is change – is that everything boils down to an equation for equilibrium. Demand and supply sums up most instances, the balance of power, pros and cons.
When we get from something as much as we put into something, there is equilibrium. And when one party feels that the equation isn’t equitable anymore, things change. Sounds rudimentary, and I guess it is. But it’s amazing how wide this concept is: it works with relationships – we’re more forgiving to people who are nicer; with jobs – we quit when we’re overworked and underpaid; with cost and benefit; you name it.
I will now go to bed. Because I derive less joy from mindless writing than I will from dreaming slumber. And perhaps the hope that Wentworth Miller will star in my next dream.
