I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing.

The weather is going a little wonkers. This morning it was f-ing frigid. Was happy to put on my new long sleeved tops and threw on a jacket – haven’t worn that stuff in years, glad it still fit. G2000 had some really nice cuts for some really nice prices.

I meet a fair number of fellow countrymen in the store, but I’ve never really felt much of an inclination to make a connection. For some strange reason, Singaporeans seem to find comfort in probing.

Anyone who’s ever taken a taxi in Singapore knows what I mean. It’s an asking society. And they’re pretty obnoxious questions. They always hover around what you do, alluding to how much you make, or where you live.

Look, Uncle. I’m 5,000 miles away from home. WTF does it matter wtf I used to live?

So from now on I’m going to lie. Deliberately and compulsively. I used to let taxi drivers make up their own stories about me – anything from waitress at the restaurant near the office, to insurance agent because I got off at Great Eastern Life Building.

I used to just fib, or divert the questions. But now, I’m going to just make up stories.

I’m going to live in somewhere like Telok Blangah. I used to be an insurance agent, but alas. All my clients died and the company was very unhappy with me so I got fired. I tried to go into real estate when the housing boom started, but I kena all the haunted houses, so I gave up and moved here to be content bagging teas for downright kaypoh fellow countrymen.

There. I’m satisfied with that.

The weather is going a little wonkers. This morning it was f-ing frigid. Was happy to put on my new long sleeved tops and threw on a jacket – haven’t worn that stuff in years, glad it still fit. G2000 had some really nice cuts for some really nice prices.

I meet a fair number of fellow countrymen in the store, but I’ve never really felt much of an inclination to make a connection. For some strange reason, Singaporeans seem to find comfort in probing.

Anyone who’s ever taken a taxi in Singapore knows what I mean. It’s an asking society. And they’re pretty obnoxious questions. They always hover around what you do, alluding to how much you make, or where you live.

Look, Uncle. I’m 5,000 miles away from home. WTF does it matter wtf I used to live?

So from now on I’m going to lie. Deliberately and compulsively. I used to let taxi drivers make up their own stories about me – anything from waitress at the restaurant near the office, to insurance agent because I got off at Great Eastern Life Building.

I used to just fib, or divert the questions. But now, I’m going to just make up stories.

I’m going to live in somewhere like Telok Blangah. I used to be an insurance agent, but alas. All my clients died and the company was very unhappy with me so I got fired. I tried to go into real estate when the housing boom started, but I kena all the haunted houses, so I gave up and moved here to be content bagging teas for downright kaypoh fellow countrymen.

There. I’m satisfied with that.