I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing.

I’m pretty sure Olympic fever has officially subsided here, Michael Phelps aka “Aquaman” (I didn’t have the heart to tell people here what Aquaman means in our country) beat Mark Spitzer’s record, the Redeem Team did what they set out to do, the Water Polo team ended their 20 year drought, so everything’s pretty much said and done.

Was really impressed with the Opening Ceremony – it was huge, perfected, and pretty.

The morning after, however, it seemed like all the West wanted to do was poke at it – oh the girl was doing a Milli Vanilli, oh the fireworks weren’t real, oh people were detained for protesting over the human rights issues in Tibet.

My response to all of that was – what is it to anyone else? Why do Americans, of all peple, feel like they need to have a say in another country’s domestic issues, or performance for that matter? Don’t they have other more pressing issues of their own?

Then I get to thinking, do I really feel that way – defensice – because of some waylaid pride I feel? After all, though I’m ethnically Chinese, I don’t feel Chinese (in the National sense) in any way shape or form.

我是华人，我不是中国人。

So after years of believing that, do I really have any right to feel any nationalistic pride for the Homeland of Ancestors I Never Knew? On my dad’s side of the family, even my grandparents were born in Singapore. They don’t even speak Teochew too well. I thought it was ok, but when I hear some of the second/third generation Chinese folk here speak Cantonese, I guess thats what I sound like speaking Teochew (and Cantonese, for that matter).

I wonder if I would feel the instinct to defend any other country. I think about Southeast Asia, would I feel like I’d jump to the defence of Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia or Vietnam if they were in the same situation?

In all likelihood, not.

I mean, why do I feel excited when Asian celebrities – like Lee Hom, Rain (isn’t he Korean?), Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, Emil Chau – appear at the closing ceremony, in front of gazillions of people? Is it because I know who they are? Is it because they’re fine examples of Chinese talent? Is it because they don’t look and sound like complete idiots when interviewed?

Knowing that “my people” built the Great Wall, invented gunpowder, the compass, paper and printing for some strange reason seems to give me some sort of confidence. But for sure, I don’t feel any affinity to the ones who built the Birds Nest and the Water Cube. When exactly do I split it down the line? Do I even make the distinction because of the social stigma the mainlanders bring with them?

With being Singaporean, I embrace it without question. From our accent to our idiosyncrasies, our authoritarian rule to our Lians and Bengs. I accept our flaws and am proud of our accomplishments.

So complicated, being Chinese.

Think I’ll go have a peanut butter jam sandwich now.