I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing.

My cousin’s wife sends out these invitations to check out her photos and videos on Phanfare (this more photo-share, less photo-snob community site) so the family (presumably) can check out the progress of them over in the UK. In theory it’s probably a fabulous idea. If I were really into kids and singing and dancing and swimming. Or if I were really into the perfect-perfect family shots.

This time there were a couple of videos of my cousin playing with his band. That was a little more interesting. For about 2 minutes. It’s hard to believe the dude is in his 40s. I guess 40 is the new 30. That’d make me fresh outta school. Ah, the healthy optimism of youth!

It’s a good thing I’m not into kids.

Can’t wait till Thanksgiving is over, then I can start putting Last Christmas on repeat in the car!

We attemped to take a hike yesterday. There’s a really useful and informative reference site – Kevin’s Hiking Page – that lists and categorises trails and hikes by location (very neat) and rates them. Most of these trails are in and around the Bay Area, so it’s even more helpful for us. Anyway, thanks to Kevin, we embarked on our first hike yesterday.

We left a little late, and by the time we got there it was pretty much almost noon. And it was pretty hot. So we busted out the snacks and had a quick brunch on the grass. Then the rest of the time I spent taking photos more than hiking, unfortunately. I thought we were doing ok, until we saw a bunch of real hikers who looked like they were intent on spending the night there. There I was thinking, it’s no big deal, there’s even a restroom at the parking lot. How convenient. That was before I visited the restroom.

It was, by far, the most umm rustic I’ve seen. Even the super oldstyle Asian ones (AKA the holes in the ground) had a tap for you to wash your hands. This one had a sign that read “Please put the seat cover down after you’re done to reduce odor in the building.”

It was not a pretty sight.

I learnt a few lessons from our first trip.
1. Long pants are a must, long socks are great too. I was wearing these flappy pants and low cut socks, and these really annoying weeds with spikes kept attacking the sliver of skin between my pants and my socks. Sometimes they get stuck on the fabric on my shoe. It was horrible.

2. To avoid visiting the restroom. If possible. Otherwise bring water to wash hands. And soap.

3. Flappy hats are great. They really keep the sun out of your face and neck.

4. Snacks are a good idea.

5. Map it before heading there. We were looking for another trail – the Skyline Ridge Open Space Preserve – but settled ofr this one because we weren’t sure we were going the right direction. So we settled for this instead of perhaps being hopelessly lost.

6. Clear your flash memory before heading out. ‘Nuff said.

Anyway. It was good fun. We didn’t finish the trail, just walked around a little and pretty much had enough sun. But it was a good start. Maybe we’ll try again next week.

Bought a package of mixed succulent seeds so I planted them the other day. They’ve already started to sprout, and are most peculiar. Instead of the usual dicotyledons appearing, I’m treated to a tiny green glob. That’s the best I can describe it. It’s a little glob that looks like a booger of wax. Very cute. Can’t wait to take them out of the makeshift nursery (AKA custard puff packaging) when they’re a little bigger.

And so my winter seed experimenting will continue, albeit with more succulents, bulbs and makeshift greenhouses or clear plastic food packaging.

Weather’s turned a little chilly now, it’s really beginning to feel like winter. Which is a little annoying, because I’ve not started knitting socks yet.

I’m convinced that one day I’ll be able to string one- (or perhaps multi-) liners from songs I listen to into a short story. I decided this today, while I was plugged into my Orange (zee 2nd Gen Shuffle) at home. Thankfully Orange uses a different synch cable from Blano (zee 1st Gen black Nano). I don’t even know where the original synch cable for zee Orange is, what I’m using is a USB to headphone jack plug I bought for something ridiculous like US$9 in Japan, only to get back to Singapore and find it at Sim Lim for S$3. But hey, it charges AND synchs! <applause> yay! </applause> Yeah, I’m cool that way.

On a separate note, strange as it may seem, I found a radio station here that sounds just like Class 95fm back home – albeit without the banal one-sided conversations and morning show – it’s called KOIT 96.5. Not that I was a huge fan of Class, but they play the same kind of 80s-90s pop rock easy-listening mix and they even have those 30 min just music spans I like.

Their tagline is “Light Rock, less talk”. I’m all for less talk, and even though I spend about 12 hours by myself most days, I enjoy the silence. In a country where practically everyone’s an extrovert and introverts pretend just to be polite, where people have a burning desire to made their opinions heard with no fear or shame (which I suppose they call the Freedom of Speech – pfffft), I miss Asian understatedness. I’m sure over here it’s referred to as “emotional retardation” or repression. But I guess in my books, the only thing more annoying than an idiot is the idiot that won’t shut up.

Ok. Off to punish myself with some tv.

Hi! Wow, it’s been a long while. Years, huh. How have you been?

Me? I’m good, I guess. Let’s see. I grew up. Finally had my braces removed. Finished school. Had a couple of boyfriends. Decided I didn’t believe in marriage. Got married anyway. Left my dream job a bit more than a year ago. Learnt to drive. Now I’m kicking back in another part of town. Talk about decades in a nutshell. Yeah, I think I learnt to be succinct too.

Heard you got married and have a kid now. Neato, congratulations. Isn’t it surreal? Do people actually grow up projecting their lives 20 years later? Is this what you projected?

I was lazy about it I guess. I only planned ahead till I was 26. Maybe 28. But I didn’t get married by 26 and I haven’t had kids – guess this stock is not meeting projections. But then again, what did I know at 14 right? I’m now old enough to have a kid that age, but by most accounts, I don’t seem to want to grow up. Yeah. Pretty much it I guess. Who does? No one wants to grow up. They just do.

My other half – he’s pretty much like me – stuck in time. We do have grown up obligations like work, bills, chores and other bores, but for the most part, I don’t think it’s hit us how old we are. It’s nice the way it is for now. Fewer things to worry about. Kids will just upset my equilibrium at this point. Besides. I have neither the patience nor the desire to nurture something that talks back. I can handle plants for now.

What about you? Are you a real doctor now? Let’s see the stethoscope. I’d see you, but I’m not found of going to the doctor’s. I’d say I’d rather be at the dentist, but I rather enjoy going to the dentist. It’s quite pleasant. He doesn’t give me candy though. Well, neither do the likes of you. Not anymore. Besides. Last thing I need is someone else I know knowing what’s wrong with me. I’ve had enough of that. Well. I’ve a small tolerance for that to begin with.

What was the movie we were watching the last time we met? I can’t remember either. Was there a movie? There was that one time you came over to our old place for dinner with the rest, and I think we all watched one of the Back to the Futures on tape. That’s pretty much all I can remember. And of course those nasty haircuts of the day. And them pearly whites, made all too obvious by your tan.

The rest is a blur. Was a little afraid to stare – you being all that much older. And I didn’t use contacts then, so I mustn’t have been seeing anything too clearly anyway. It was an awkward time for me. 14, a little fat, a mouth full of metal, a mother who had ideas on how girls should behave, a temperment that didn’t take to those rules well, bad eyesight, a relatively sheltered life, horrible introversion. You were always the nicest of the lot though. I didn’t understand confidence until then. You were always confident and considerate enough to be sensitive to a 14-year-old tweenie bopper with that toothy smile. It’s a warm one.

I can look back now and laugh. It wasn’t all that funny then. I bet you guys found it funny. I would’ve if it weren’t me.

It’s so weird looking back now. My room seemed so huge then. Now I step in and its the size of a study. But back then it was my whole universe. And it was pretty much spotted with Michael Chang and Tom Cruise posters all over. Even they’ve aged. They’re still pretty attractive now, so I suppose I’ve some pretty good taste. Or I’ve a way of prolonging a longing.

Well. After all this time. I think I’ll still always remember you the way you were. It must be surreal. It is for me. Sometimes I feel almost like it’s someone else’s life I’ve lived. Or some book I’m reading. And when it gets boring, I’m going to put it down and be back in my room at home again, and mom will be yelling for me to go downstairs for dinner, and there will be steamed chicken with ginger and rice and veggies and steaming hot rice and the familiar smell of home.

And school tomorrow.

That’s the bit I won’t miss. HAHA. Really.

Well. It’s been nice catching up. I’ll see you around.

Until then I’ll wonder every once in a while about you. And I’ll always remember what it was like and what you meant to a 14-year-old me.

My baby cousin just had a baby.

Something is just wrong with that sentence.