I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing.

My friends (the both of you),

Fret not. I realise I exercise my privilege to whine more frivolously than others exercise their right to multiply and find a happiness only the most giving of us are born with. I apologise for the alarm, if any.

But for a stubborn herd instinct, probably created to ensure the survival of a species, I am satisfied with my smartass decision which I so smugly display atop a finely stacked deck of cards. Annoyingly, the instinct to survive is a tough sucker to rid, kind of like Malware. And the image of people I thought I knew, knocked up and happy, makes for a seriously disturbing vision. Akin to a giant fat toddler stepping on my fine pyramid of cards with its heavy, milk enriched chunker they call a foot.

But that’s what you get for (a) being human and (b) smugly displaying your insecurities, which I attribute to (a).

I wish it were the highly intellectual, rational or moral reasons you guys give me the benefit of the doubt for that are the basis of my decision, but sadly in my case they are just afterthought, really. I wish there was some struggle between light and dark, good and bad, right and wrong. But alas. I got kind of peckish and finished a bag of M&Ms instead.

Perhaps I should’ve written it differently. Or perhaps it was really bugging me more than I realise. All I really wanted to say was, I wish I was different growing up. I wish I hit on a couple of boys. Oh and by the way, everyone’s pregnant. Did they pop something in the water?

So fret not for me, Singapura. The truth is I never grew up.

Well, I now leave you guys with a picture of a bird and a bee. Don’t worry, they’re SFW*.

Luv,

me

* Safe For Work. As opposed to many other pictures of the birds and the bees, which are NSFW.