I will be the pattern of all patience; I will say nothing.

I had a movie weekend
savouring the movies we bought while on vacation. My favourite of the lot (for now) has got to be Howl’s Moving Castle. It’s a typical Studio Ghibli film – more along the lines of Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke than My Neighbour Totoro. But it’s all good.

Cos how often do you get a movie set in the Europe of The Sound of Music, but have characters hotter than Orlando Bloom’s Legolas? I mean, if an Asian-eyed blonde dude defends me from a bunch of sloshy oil men and then sweeps me off my feet literally while being all perfect and pretty and polite, damn, who isn’t going to fall for that?

And so it’s right there. This is why the ABC is always going to be that much more attractive than my local brothers. They’re the Asian-eyed boys complete with the manners of a Western culture. It’s the two-in-one deal, what Asian girl doesn’t dig it?

They walk different, talk different, laugh different, smell different, look different, think different. They’re not too shocking that you can’t bring home to mom and dad, but they’re that much different than my local brothers.

Yeah, on the inside, they’re just as flawed as any other average joe. But hey, average joe didn’t learn to flash his toothy grin when he’s getting cornered. Of course, there’s also the “dude” factor – when all else fails, they say dude and it’s funny again.

Anyway. Howl’s Moving Castle is a good movie. And in the English version, Christian Bale voices Howl (or How-ru, in Japanese). Now how cool is that?

Next on my Studio Ghibli list – My Neighbours, the Yamadas. Let me know when you see that in the stores.

Finally caught Kingdom of Heaven last night
Yes, Orly Bloom is hot. Hot, hot, hot! I’ve always said it, but there’s something about that British accent.

Other than that it wasn’t a great movie. It had all the makings of a Ridley Scott film, though – large, expansive sets, a large battle scene, thousands of extras, beautiful cinematography. I bet Orly felt right at home – some bits of it looked like the Battle of Helm’s Deep.

Orly wasn’t right for the role, though. He doesn’t come across as someone with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he doesn’t really even look like you’d take him seriously. Among heavyweights like Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons, he looks like an out of place yuppie. It was just as well he didn’t have many lines.

Thus concludes my pent up movie frustration.

Here’s a bunch of stuff I need to watch this year:

• Breakfast on Pluto – Cillian Murphy transvestite movie.
• Transamerica – Felicity Huffman transvestite movie.
• Walk the Line – Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash.
• A History of Violence – Aragorn gets new weapon.
• The Constant Gardener – Ralph Fiennes is always fine.
• Fearless – Jet Li doing his thing.

Yes, we’re back to song titles
Just watched Layer Cake. Good, reliable, complex British movie, complete with the next James Bond, the charismatic Daniel Craig and the next washed-up junkie wannabe, Sienna Miller. It’s pretty hard to follow, unlike my favourite Lock, Stock but it’s got the same wry sense of humour and odd sense of irony. I love it. I’m a sucker for stories that tie up nicely. Feel good endings optional.

Speaking of which, here’s a bit of trivia from the movie. Let me introduce you to the remora, a pretty funny fish used to fish turtles in some cultures. Amazing.

The Chinese Dragon

The most powerful generalized type of Chinese dragon is the horned dragon, or long, which can produce rain and is totally deaf.

Gee who knew they were deaf?

The Dragon brings upon the essence of life, in the form of its celestial breath, known to many as sheng chi. He yields life and bestows its power in the form of the seasons, bringing water from rain, warmth from the sunshine, wind from the seas and soil from the Earth.

The Dragon is the ultimate representation of the forces of Mother Nature, the greatest divine force on Earth.

The Chinese Dragon is often seen as the symbol of divine protection and vigilance. It is regarded as the Supreme Being amongst all creatures. It has the ability to live in the seas, fly up the heavens and coiled up in the land in the form of mountains. Being the divine mythical animal, the Dragon can ward off wandering evil spirits, protect the innocent and bestow safety to all that hold his emblem. The Chinese Dragon is looked upon as the ultimate symbol of Good Fortune.

No applause, please.

Anyway, was reading a pamphlet about feng shui and it says people born in the years of the Ox, Dragon, Goat and Dog are believed to be burdened with a difficult and lethargic year of the Dog.

Roosters should be ok if they plan well.

Monkeys will see a downturn in fortunes and should evaluate their positions.

Rats, Tigers, and Rabbits will experience a moderate cycle – dunno what that means, but it sounds pretty neutral to me.

Snakes, Horses and Pigs will have a good year.

We’ll see how right that’ll turn out at the end of the year. Can’t wait.

The Inflight Movie Test
Due to sheer boredom, I watched almost every movie available on the NW Movies on Demand system for the month. This amounted to some 7 movies, the only exceptions were the biographies (Ray, The Motorcycle Diaries). So some 6 movies, and I fell asleep on about 3. Let’s look at the list:

Did Keanu Reeves ruin Constantine?
In my opinion, no. Is it a good movie? In my opinion, no.

I’ve never really read the Hellblazer comics and didn’t have much of an inkling of the following it had, save for an appearance by Constantine in Book 0 of The Books of Magic. In it, he was suave (though not Pierce Brosnan 007 type suave), irreverant (though not Johnny Depp type irreverant), charming (though not Robin Williams in The Birdcage type charming), witty yet cynical (though not Brad Pitt in Fight Club type witty yet cynical) . Constantine is inescapably British – not over done Californian indulgence, but moderate dry British anything. He is Sting.

Keanu Reeves certainly can’t do that. His meant-to-be-witty lines turned out blah, he didn’t even seem like he was kidding. I mean, even though Constantine might not have expressed it, he always did look like he enjoyed the challenge. Perhaps Reeves took “deadpan” to really mean “dead in the pan”. Yeah, he can attempt suave, and somewhat charming, but certainly not irreverant and witty yet cynical. So I guess Reeves comes up 60% short.

Not to say that Nic Cage (who was first choice for the role) would be able to do much better.

Even then though, I don’t think Keanu did the movie in. The script, the lack of any glue in between scenes, the whack out of nowhere type scenes, the complete doubt in my mind what was going on, and the unlikely chemistry with Rachel Weisz was kind of what did the movie in. And Tilda Swinton as an angel gone awry? Hah hah hah.

Too bad the movie was shot in a bland, plain vanilla way. It made it less interesting than it could’ve been.

Rate it: 2/5 stars. I watched it cos it was free. I suggest you do the same.

Did Tom Cruise ruin Collateral?
In my opinion, no. Well then did Jamie Foxx nail it? Somewhat. Was it a good movie? In my opinion, absolutely.

The premise of story sounds quite dumb when you read it.

Cab driver picks up a fare from Killbillville, and has to make it through the night without getting killed, and trying to prevent people from dying. Tom Cruise plays the killer (alarm bells start ringing right about now) and Jamie Foxx the cab driver (air raid sirens start whining right about now).

But the movie was so much more. It’s really a drama, and most of it happens in the form of conversations in the cab. So we learn about Jamie Foxx’s character Max from a short introduction to his daily routine, and then when he picks up this hot fare (Jada Pinkett Smith). So by the time Max meets Vincent (Tom Cruise) you already know him, and you know he’s a good guy.

And then Vincent and Max talk, and you see how their characters grow more. Apparently before filming began the director Michael Mann (who also did Robbery Homicide Division which aired locally on the now-defunct Channel i) gave each actor a document containing the background of their character. Tom Cruise said his document had information of how Vincent to began to like Jazz. The result are very believable characters, and very convincing performances.

I’m not going to spoil it for everyone, but suffice to say this isn’t a traditional hero movie. It’s realistic, in fact, it’s shot like Robbery Homicide Division so the feel is very true to life.

I think even though Tom Cruise was billed first, the part of Vincent was more of a supporting role than a main role. With that in mind, Tom Cruise should’ve been nominated for Best Supporting Actor. I think he did a more controlled job than Jamie Foxx.

The trivia on IMDb for Collateral is quite interesting.

Rate it: 4/5 stars, I really enjoyed the movie. Thanks, RT Boy.

If you believe in IMDb’s Top 250 movies
The Godfather would be your all time favourite movie, followed by The Return of the King and The Shawshank Redemption.

They’re good movies, but I’d dispute the Shawshank Redemption, since Morgan Freeman looks neither red nor Irish and I’m going through my I’m so sick of the whole American feel-good genre.

The top rated comedies list would start with a quaint turkish comedy, followed by my all-time favourite, Dr Strangelove (whose star incidentally, shares my birthday – which explains why he’s a genius). Again I don’t get why the next movie takes the #3 spot – Amelie – it wasn’t that good. I’d pick fourth, fifth and even #12 – Monty Python and the Holy Grail over it. But I guess it’s a mass appeal movie.

Anyway. My favourite comedy this year – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Finally saw it. It’s a good movie. In fact, the dude who wrote it, also wrote two other movies in the IMDb Top 250, Adaptation and Being John Malkovich, which would kind of tell you what kind of movies he writes.

Eternal Sunshine is refreshing – mostly cos it comes sans Jim Carrey’s usual antics. It takes a little attention to get it, but it’s worth it. It’s a smart comedy. It’s about love, and I like that it’s not a saccharine, You’ve Got Mail type ending. It’s believable, and it’s premise is a slice of reality.

I enjoy movies so much more when the script is this-worldly. I’m seriously so sick of the ubiquitous All American Hero(ine), Dream, Life type movies. The West Wing. The Green Mile. Saving Private Ryan. Forrest Gump. Ok, everything with Tom Hanks.

Ocean’s Twelve
Quick review of the sequel that I was really looking forward to, but really disappointed with. Not that the first movie was the best thing since sliced bread, but it was slick and cute and funny – it had so much more character. Ocean’s Twelve got to the point where I was wondering why I paid $15 to watch George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Julia Roberts vacation on Lake Como. As if they don’t get paid enough.

So there. That’s 4 lame well hyped sequels this year, eh? Kill Bill 2 was a disaster. Tarantino was just getting old. Bridget Jones’s Diary was a bore – it’s not exactly fun to watch chubby, insecure Renee Zellweger claw at Colin Firth. Meet the Fockers looks like more of the same. And now this. Ergh.

Sale season!
Lots of stores having their end of season sales, which works out great for me, since I’ve always wanted to get some cold weather clothing. And since I am trying hard to get away for Chinese New Year, I think it’ll come in handy. The last time I went to SF in February with just long sleeved tee shirts I froze my butt off.

Dorothy Perkins had a bunch of really nice jackets and coats before Christmas, but now that the store’s on sale – the really nice coats have miraculously disappeared off the shelves. I mean – how many Singaporean women actually need woollen pea coats?

Anyway, I managed to find a couple of nice cardigans (reduced to $33 each), and a nice warm lined jacket with a hood for $39. I got an extra 10% off with my UOB credit card. I’m very pleased with my astute purchasing sense. I will probably regret it next month, but what the heck.

Looking ahead
Happy New Year, everyone. Have a great year ahead, one filled with peace and joy and fun and laughter and family and friends and good health and love and chocolate and oranges and new beginnings and changes we can embrace.

Guess what we found today while shopping at Great World City?
This new store called WH – on the first floor opposite Spinelli – which is like a complete replica of Old Navy. The store decor, lighting, and product line was so totally Old Navy, I had to get something. Bought some jammy pants – $16 a pair, 100% cotton. The spandex ones cost about $23, closer to the US$12.90 I usually pay in the US.

Next to WH is a lingerie store called Women’s Secret – a little off Victoria’s Secret but the idea was kinda there.

Also caught The Incredibles

The Incredibles – Dash, Violet, Mr Incredible and Elastigirl

The latest offering from Pixar Animation. I didn’t have very high hopes for this one, since during production Pixar was already pissed with the Disney distribution deal and their relationship was totally going south. I thought maybe they’d just satisfice and get the product out the door.

I was pleasantly surprised – I really enjoyed the movie. It was the same family oriented fun as Finding Nemo, and I think Craig T Nelson and Holly Hunter did a great job. I’m not the only one who likes this movie – it’s already #114 on IMDb’s Top 250 films. This is going down in my DVD list.

The short film that preceeded the movie was also quite a cute one. Called Boundin’, I thought it wasn’t just funny, but had a nice lesson for the kids. If For the Birds (the short that appeared before Monsters, Inc) can be called a classic, I don’t see why this one shouldn’t go in the books.

The alternating pouring rain and merciless sunshine
is just driving me nuts! I hate it when it’s hot one minute, the wet, and then hot again. It gets so humid that way. It’s supposed to be gloomy and cool now! What’s Christmas in the tropics without the cool wet weather? Yay! It’s Christmas!! Oooh! I love Christmas. I await the corporate Christmas pressie with much anticipation. Perhaps the licence plate holders will get here first.

Caught a couple of movies on the plane
But I only remember watching The Stepford Wives and There’s Something About Mary. I guess they were that interesting.

I didn’t think very much of any of the movies, including the 2 above. The Stepford Wives was neither very funny nor very entertaining, even with the star studded cast – Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broaderick, Bette Midler, Glenn Close and Christopher Walken. Even Faith Hill had a role, even if it was a miserable one.

I never watched Mary, and it’s not like I think Ben Stiller is that much funnier after watching it. The only thing I did find funny was the whole Cameron Diaz hairgel gag, but that’s more a factor of me not liking Cameron Diaz. She’s got an annoying aura about her. Kind of like Fann Wong. I bet they’re probably a guy’s dream come true, but they just irk the crap out of me and there’s no explaining it without sounding like sour grapes, so whatever. Just annoying.

Movies that I want to catch
Wimbledon, but it’s ending it’s run so I’ll just wait for it on DVD. Paul Bettany is too cute – it’s the accent – and it looks cute. Not a big fan of Kirsten Dunst (isn’t she too young for the Brit?) but what the heck.

2046, but it’s going to be another DVD candidate because I’d prefer to watch it in Cantonese. I hate Zhang Ziyi (unlike Fann Wong and Cameron Diaz, Zhang Ziyi has this face I feel like slapping). Perhaps it was her annoying role in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. But anyway, she plays a Maggie Cheung replacement (Ha ha! Get a clue, woman! 2 movies, both with Tony Leung and she plays the consolation prize each time Tony Leung misses Maggie Cheung).

Quick update
My dad has gone on vacation with his siblings, and my mom decided to stay home with her cats. So I’ve moved home for a week while my dad is away so my mom doesn’t have to be home alone.

Perhaps I’ve gotten used to the weather and the air in the central part of the island. I’ve been wheezing, coughing and sneezing since I got home. Most likely because of the cat fur. But man, it’s bad!

The nice part though about being home is that I can (hopefully) catch up on some reading. KF and I usually end up watching TV or DVDs, and now that I’m home I realised I left a bunch of half read books lying around. Going to start on them again

Caught Dodgeball Tonight
And I enjoyed it. It’s Ben Stiller without the toilet humour this time. Sure he’s silly – the hair, the whole appearance – it;s not the usual Ben Stiller loser dude, but he’s still in his element.

Ah… Vince Vaughn is in this too. Don’t know whether it’s the name or something, but I kinda thought he was the Ear Dude in Reservoir Dogs. Nope he’s not. That was Michael Madsen, he played “Vic Vega”. Vince Vaughn was in Swingers, and he’s missing the tip of his right thumb. I love IMDb. It makes me sound so smart.

In all, it was a funny movie. I guess life is so much easier when you keep expectations low. Lotsa funny cameos, you know what the outcome is going to be, so just sit back and laugh. Gary Cole and Jason Bateman were hilarious.

it’s just the kind of movie Sam would like
To Sam da Man, who showed taught me the fundamentals in foos, and then showed me the joys of indulging in it three times a day…

That was the best initiation anyone could ask for.

Take care, dude. Stay away from the genetically modified chickens and supersize junk. Have fun at Fry’s and Trader Joe’s. See you on the other side.