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I take it back – not all scrounging discount hunters are Asian. Not that I said that, but before today everyone that tried to bargain with me was Asian.

Today two Italian speaking gentlemen came to the store. I noticed one of them wearing a YouTube jacket, so unable to resist it, I casually asked if he worked at YouTube.

He replied, with a light but noticeable thrust in his chest, “I work for Google”.

Ooohhh. I profess philosophical and idealogical differences which render me unable to use their services. They ask why? What search do I use? Why, Yahoo! of course. I use Gmail, but like a bulk mail folder. Why? I find having ads targetted based on the content of my email disturbing. Oh, but it’s the same program as a virus scan. Yeah, virus scans don’t send me ads though, I find that intrusive.

When that’s going on, AL lets on to my previous employer. Mr YouTube scoffs, and goes, oh you mean Microsoft now?

I’m sorry, but that was highly offensive.

So anyway. Enough chit-chat. It’s time for them to pay up. I say $124.50. They go, and you gave me my discount? I can’t believe it. I blurt you work for Google and you’re asking me for a discount?!. They persist. They guy paying says – he works for Google. I don’t. They ask again for their discount.

I say, there is already a discount worked in when you get 4oz. Very polite, no?

They insist on one again.

I laugh. $124.50 please.

Mr YouTube’s companion coughs it up in cash and leaves yapping away in Italian.

Well, I guess I should feel sorry for the dude. After all, when Y! stock falls, it falls maybe $15. When Google stock declines, it dives $200.

Despite some respite from the rain, the temperatures dipped to something ridiculous, like probably around 4-5°C today. That’s daytime, too. My fingers are in this perpetual state of freeze. And my toes are not faring any better. I’ve finally acquired the appropriate clothing for the weather, and am unabashedly layering.

And I found out how to do it – and more importantly, how to order the stuff I need to layer – on Amazon. What would I do without the internet and the wonders of e-commerce. Ah, that term is so dotcomboom I can’t stand it.

Crazily enough, my primary school teacher added me as a friend on Facebook. I was her second friend. It was her first day on the most viral thing since the H5N1. If Facebook is anything to go by, I’ve got enough friends to fill a bus. Thing is, I’m not really on Facebook to see my friends, or check up on what they’re doing. Not really. I just get on to play a quiz or two, unsuccessfully edit my profile, and respond to messages. Why it’s got the world hooked is still pretty baffling.

I was not really in the mood for retail today, and thanks to the Black Friday sales going on, everyone was out and about and shopping their hearts out.

Good news for retailers. Not great for me.

There are only this many times in the day I can stand repeating myself. But retail is constant repetition. Sometimes to the same person. That really bugs the heck out of me, not to mention infuriates me when they still don’t get it. They usually don’t get it because they’re not really listening. That makes me want to smack them. Cos sometimes they walk away mid-sentence.

I’ve noticed so far that Asians tend to ask for discounts. I’m still wondering in my mind why that’s the case. Same thing happened again, except this time it was a Korean lady who tried her hand at bargaining. She first tried to ask for s discount from AL, and was politely turned down with our standard “our prices are already very reasonable”.

Here’s what I don’t get. People don’t go to Target and bargain, why do they think they can get away with it here? Why take it out on a small business? We label each item with prices, so they know what they’re getting into way before they say – I’ll take two of these, and a quarter pound of that. If it’s way over their budget, then they don’t even have to go there.

Why stoop to bargaining?

Anyway. The Korean lady decided to try the same line with me as I was ringing her up, and again asked for a discount. AL had already given her some tea samples, but she decides, she needs an even better deal.

That’s when my mind is racing for a polite way to say: this isn’t a negotiation, you don’t bargain when I have your credit card in my hand. I’m also making a silent apology to all the people I bargained with in my life – the flea market stalls in Phuket, the second level electronics stores in Sim Lim, and in the textile market in Korea.

I eventually settled on the fairness argument. The prices are fair, and to be fair, we charge everyone the same low price. If we had to give people who bargain discounts, we’d have to raise the prices across the board to make up for it. That wouldn’t be fair.

She wouldn’t relent! She said, give me more samples then.

I said, you’ve been given some of all the samples we have.

With that, she then goes on to say, actually, I know the prices of these teas. I think your prices are actually very good.

WTF!!!!

I don’t know if she was testing us, or just mucking with me. WTF! She then goes on to talk to PL about wholesale opportunities.

She didn’t get no Kamsahamida on her way out, that’s for sure.

The only reason why I chose to take Chinese as a First Language in Secondary school was so I would end my suffering by age 16, not for the love of the language. My first Chinese teacher – Miss Lu – expertly and efficiently nipped any interest I had or would ever have for the language swiftly in the bud. There are few things worse than a frustrated person with no interest in educating seven-year-olds actually being paid (probably not a lot) to do just that.

Last weekend I put my four years of Higher Chinese education to good use. An Asian (maybe Taiwanese?) lady walked in and asked for fifteen gaiwans (盖碗). She said she wanted it for a wedding. We get her stock, and I knew it was going to start, so I let Mr K handle it. And sure enough, she started asking for a discount. I don’t blame her. She wanted fifteen.

Then, she side-said something (you know, when they’re really directing a rhetorical remark to you through saying something in passing to someone else，in this case, her daughter) that set me right off.

“前面那间好像比较便宜。”
Translation: It seemed to be cheaper at the store in front

Oh no she didn’t just say that to me. Out snarls my best Chinese ever.

“那你可以去前面那间。。。”
Translation: Then you can go to the store in front…

In dives Mr K for the save -

“你可以去看看，他们的品质是不一样的。”
Translation: You can go and take a look, their quality is not the same.

Nice save.

The lady laughed it off, but later on made a comment like the tea was cheaper in Taiwan. Oh, since she was obviously just asking for it, I retorted that airfares back to Taiwan were cheap too, so yeah.

She still walked out with 15 gaiwans.

So I guess my point is, I’m grateful for the other 8 Chinese teachers and tutors I’ve had, for the unenviable task of teaching me the rudiments of the adopted mother tongue of my people. Thank you for trying to undo the mis-programming.

In particular, I’d like to thank my private Chinese tutor，关丽花老师。Thank you for educating me enough to defend and express myself. For that, I am in your debt.

Happy Thanksgiving，from the Retail Grinch.